Told y’all I was the worst blogger ever! Sheesh. It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything. Life sometimes gets in the way of journaling. I thought having a phone would make it easier, but who am I kidding. I really just got the phone for the status symbol….and the apps. I kinda think I need to go on the TLC show that chronicles all the people who do dumb stuff. Like sleep with their hair dryers and eat glass. Because..apparently…sleeping with your phone in your hand is dumb. According to John. Who is the self-appointed phone police.
Tonight I went to my best friends daughters dance competition. Say that three times fast. She was adorable as usual and I decided that I have a new calling in “Dance Commentating”. There was a plethora of material, including but not limited to: skimpy outfits, way to many tap dancers, a clogging sort of routine, mom’s that were seriously yelling like they were at a football game and a guy in a hot pink v-neck tee that was at least 56 years old. Almost as culturally shocking as the Harry Potter premiere last night. And let me tell ya, there was some scary shiznit going on in the movie theater. (am I allowed to say shiznit? I kinda feel like I’m not supposed to, but it just seems to fit the story) Back to the dance thing.. I could easily be a dance mom. I sorta feel like pageant mom is in my future, but John is anti flippers and $500 dresses. Dance mom seems to be the more logical step.
I left the competition after getting a text from John that was very disturbing. He was going on a fishing outing tonight and needed me to pick up some chicken livers, and new fishing pole and a lantern. Talk about two extremes in one night! I am not the outdoorsy type of person and I have maybe set foot in the hunting and fishing section of the Wal-Marts like 3 times in my whole life. I am very clearly the “duck out of water” person wondering the aisles. (hunting pun totally intended. such as it was) I had to make several phone calls to John to ensure I was getting the right style of lantern and not just the one that looked the prettiest. Turns out there aren’t any pretty lanterns, so I honestly could have closed my eyes and picked one. And God bless the person that came up with pre-packaged fishing poles! Pretty sure it was a woman, because everything was all wrapped up nice and cute and clearly labeled. Very helpful if you are a novice fishing pole buyer.
This is the perfect picture to end a rambling post with. My kids went ape when we passed the weiner mobile on our way home from our recent trip to Oklahoma. I got totally tickled when they started yelling “Mom! It’s a weiner car!” “Get closer so we can see the weiner!” “I wonder if the weiner car serves weiners?” I didn’t even know they knew the word weiner. And all the stuff that looks like snow or a cool camera effect?! Yeah..that’s bug guts on the windshield. Obviously washing the car isn’t on my list of priorities.
I bet you’re glad you wasted 4 1/2 minutes reading this post.
I am off to finish my Real Housewives of New York marathon. Now THATS quality tv right there.