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Juice fast day 1 : epic fail

In my defense…the juice I made tasted like dookey on a stick. No one in their right mind would’ve drank it. John chugged it in like 2 seconds because it was that bad. (And I’ve known for years he wasn’t in his right mind)
I did kale/spinach/celery/green apple and pineapple. So nasty!
I’d like to tell myself that my downfall was working the concession stand at the ball field last night, but it really had nothing to do with that. I just didn’t want to drink something that looked like a diaper!
Hopefully today I can come up with a better combo because the “fat, sick and nearly dead” combo is out to literally kill people. Death by taste buds isn’t exactly the way I wanted to go.

~

John killed his first snake of the season the other day. He was opening the garage door and saw it slither underneath our clothes rack. And for those of you that don’t know John, snakes are a mega no-no for him. There is no such thing as a good snake in his world.
All I know is that I got a phone call from my victorious hunter and he proceeded to tell me how he killed this snake.
(this is my intrepretation of the phone call. He will argue that he was less dramatic. whatever)
“yeah so I just killed a snake. In our garage. With a baseball bat. I AM MAN!! He was all coiled up and had his fangs out ready to strike me. I think I saw 27 rattles on the end of his tail. I swung the bat just as he was raising up and he wrapped around the end of the bat and I slung him into the wall and he died immediately. From the sheer force behind my swing. Because I’m that amazing. Why are there dents in the concrete floor? Did I hit him 3 times to kill him? Heck no! I really think the snake just had a heart attack when he saw me coming. I strike fear in the hearts of rattlers. They really should name a History Channel show after me.”
Yeah.

Ok.

whatever

I snapped a picture of the man eating snake after he killed it and I really think its more like a overgrown worm. But what do I know.

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If you look close you can see where he smashed the poor thing. I googled what I thought it was and it said something about being a snake that eats bugs and spiders, which we have everywhere, but he didn’t buy my argument of why we needed to not kill these kinds of snakes.

sigh

In the words of Jack Handy –

“A funny thing to do is, if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who’s going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That’s why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.”

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