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Dear John Bridge,

Honesty dude.
You are freaking killing me! If I wanted to raise a teenager right now, I would go out and buy one. One that would sleep more than you do!
Yesterday, you went without a nap to see if that would help you go to sleep and stay asleep last night.

bangs head on table

I give up! Not only did I have to listen to your incessant whining, I still didn’t get a good nights sleep!
I researched the Internets yesterday to try and find different ideas for “2 year old male who won’t sleep”, but there was little help to be found. I did read that a cold, dark house helps promote sleep, so I turned it down to 70* and made it as dark as I could. I think you can hang meat in the back part of the house!

Going to bed at 7:30 was like a dream come true. I actually smiled when I walked past your door. But at 9pm when you woke up because you had “a nap”?! Let’s just say that my blood pressure getting so high so fast at least knocked 12 years off my life.

you are killing me smalls

You didn’t go back to sleep until well past midnight and then were up at 1:30am, 4:30, and 7. It’s like I have a newborn again! (Minus the chubby legs and head that smells like Johnson and Johnson)

I understand that you love to play with the bell attached to a string. Who wouldn’t? It makes a fun noise and you can drag it all over the place, therefore ensuring that everyone gets to enjoy said noise. (I thought I threw it away. Obviously not)
But dang it man! It honestly sounded like a stinkin elf convention up in here!
Oh, and thank you for waking Loch up. I know I can’t blame you for him taking off his sleeper, tearing his diaper into pieces and peeing all over the bed. He is responsible for that and he and I already had a come to Jesus about it at 1:30 this morning. But I can blame you for waking him up! And so help me….if he adapts to his surroundings and gets on your sleep schedule…it.will.get.ugly!

I do blame you for my lack of weight loss. Not sleeping is a direct key to keeping on the extra weight. So thanks for that one!

Today is going to be national “wear John Bridge out” day and I hope your 4 hours of sleep last night have left you rested and refreshed.

cause you’re gonna need it