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Yesterday was a day that I will cherish. Not because it was your birthday, but because you spent the entire day in my arms.

As I was rocking you all swaddled up in your bebe and singing anything and everything that came to my mind, I couldn’t help but stare at the scar on your chest. With every labored rise and fall, the scar was there to remind me that you are alive. The difference between then and now? I can hold you and comfort you.

No one wants to spend their birthday sick, but because you did, I got the unexpected blessing of being able to spend my whole day with you.
We rocked.
We watched movies.
We sat in steam showers and you took a bath.
We bundled up and rocked on the back deck.
You napped on my chest and I let the tears fall thinking about how much I wanted to do this on your birth day. I didn’t get to hold you for several days and even then, you were covered in wires and monitors.

yesterday, you were covered with my arms.

We didn’t have a cake.
You didn’t open presents.
We didn’t even sing Happy Birthday.

It was just you and I.
All day.
And it was perfect.

Even in my crazy, overprotective mom state, you wanted me. No one else would do. You love your daddy, but you wanted me. Needed me.

I’m watching you sleep right now, finally, and am so thankful for the 2 amazing years we have had with you! You are the perfect last baby.
You love to smile and laugh.
You love to pester your brothers and sisters.
The kitten doesn’t stand a chance when you are around.
Even when you are sick, your personality shines thru and I love every single quirky thing about it!


Today, the day after your birthday, we are going to do cake and ice cream. You will blow out your candles and I may or may not shed a tear thinking about this being my last ever 2nd birthday.

I love you Loch James.
Thank you for my unexpected gift yesterday.