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Every once in a while I let something slip.
I forget to mop the floor. I forget to brush the kids teeth before bed. I forget to make the bed..for 8 years in a row. We’ve eaten cereal for dinner.

But I think Sunday may have been my worst mom fail yet.

Wake had a birthday party Sunday afternoon, so after church I took him to Dollar General to pick out a gift. Wal-Mart offers too many options and Wake has a hard time making up his mind, so I figured DG would be a quick and easy stop.
We went in and he picked out the gift bag first. Then the bow that matched. And the tissue paper. (Apparently he has a system I’m not aware of.)
After being back and forth between some “magic” beans that roll around or a twin gun set, he settled on the guns.
As we are walking to the register, he remembered he doesn’t have a card.
I’m pretty sure I sighed because we were running late (as usual) and needed to get the gift thrown together before the party.
We went to the card aisle and he naturally went for the ones that sing when you open them.

Side note: grandmas invented those cards. It’s the perfect way to get back at your kids for what they put you thru when you were raising them. I loathe singing cards, so naturally I buy them for all my friends kids. It’s the circle of life.

Anyways, he found a card that played a banjo when you opened it and I was immediately annoyed, so I knew it would be perfect.
We get home and start putting the gift together.
I hand John the card to show him how annoying it is and he opens it and gives me the look.
“Uh babe. Did you read this card?”
“No, why? It had the cute cowboy on the front and was super annoying and Wake loved it so I just bought it”

He turns it around and shows me.

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fail

I mean seriously. Who makes adorable kid cards that look like this and then throw a bombshell on the inside?!
It was too late to go get another one, so I sent the kids mom a text saying I didn’t read the card before I bought it and to not hate me for life!

Wake was pleased as punch with his card. John couldn’t quit laughing and shaking his head at me. John Bridge couldn’t quit opening and shutting the card, which made the banjo even more annoying. I laugh/cried for at least 10 minutes.

I’m just thankful I at least read it before he licked the envelope and they thought we bought it on purpose.

Her text to me after the birthday party was over?
“Thanks for the plucking gift! Hahahaha!”

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