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What is the proper response when your 7 year old busts thru the kitchen door, with a sock wrapped around his thumb, sobbing and screaming “I GOT BIT BY A MOLE”?

cause I’m pretty sure it’s not in the parenting handbook

I mean honestly. It’s not everyday that a kid gets bit by a mole.

The little boogers have been tearing up our yard left and right, so yesterday when John and Brooks were outside cleaning up and working, Brooks asked if he could flood the hole. And of course John was all for that! (How redneck is that?! flooding mole holes in the backyard in your underwear. John had on pants, which was a blessing, but Brooks likes to let everyone see his “guns”. and apparently that can only happen when you wear underwear. and tight sleeveless shirts. help me Jesus)

Anyhoo, he is flooding the hole and John says he honestly didn’t think the ROUS (rodent of unusual size) would come out. Ha. So, needless to say, when the sucker came crawling out, John yelled for Brooks to get it. I think he meant whack it with the golf club, but Brooks thought he meant to pick it up.


And I’m told he got a fairly good grip on it, but he set it down to readjust and the sucker turned around and bit him on the thumb. (I don’t care who you are. That’s funny) Brooks freaked out, flung his hand around and sent the thing flying. I wish I would’ve been out there so I could see his face!

He and I are a lot alike and I remember when my dad told me not to hold the snapping turtle because it would bite me, and because I’m a live and learn kid, I had to hold it. The little snot bit the heck out of my finger and I sent it flying across the room and ended it’s little life when it bounced off the wall.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I failed parenting when I couldn’t stop laughing as my poor widdle baby bawled and bawled in the kitchen. We cleaned the wound, put medicine on it and bandaged it. (all while fighting laughter. I dare you to try it!)

We googled pictures of moles and John decided after some extensive research that it was in fact a Vole. (I’ve never even heard of that.)

Brooks can finally talk about it without crying and I can finally look him in the eyes and tell him how sorry I am without busting a gut.

cause I don’t care who you are. getting bit by a mole/vole/ROUS is funny.